#10 – Being at functions and finding a creative way to answer the question “Julie, What do you do for a living?” and not include the fact that I spend a good portion of my day in my pajamas.
#9 – Being at functions and seeing people try to strategically run from you because they know you’re going to ‘network’ with them for jobs
“Hey you in the corner that works for a bank… yeah I’m talkin’ to you, don’t worry I don’t want to work at a bank… relax”
#8 – Not Shopping. Ever.
#7 – Having to choose between going to dinner with friends and buying someone a baby shower gift. Really? I didn’t ask for you to have that baby. And I most certainly didn’t suggest you register for something so incredibly expensive. Not really your fault that I don’t have a job, but still….
#6 – “Dear __________” I would be an excellent candidate for your position!” If I live to be 105 years old and never, ever, ever, have to write another cover letter. It will be far too soon.
#5 – Standing in the unemployment line. Degrading – yes. Annoying – yes. Slightly gratifying that for once I actually got to take advantage of a government program – absolutely (hence why it’s only #5)
#4 – Having to go inside to pay for my gas. For reasons totally inconceivable by me – the Workforce West Virginia Card (which is the card they issue to people with their unemployment benefits – and trust me you’re not only one amused by the irony that it’s called “Workforce”) doesn’t work at the pump, so you have to go inside and pretty much announce to the world that you’re on unemployment. But that’s ok, because the guy in front of you just bought cigarettes, beer and Cheetos with his food stamp money, so he’s not gonna judge.
#3 – “Hey since you’re not working right now would you mind to [insert favor here]” Seriously people? How do you think I’m ever going to find a job if I spend my days being your servant? First favor = Free, Second favor = My rent payment.
#2 – “Your account has been overdrawn” My bank sends me e-mails when I overdraw my checking account. I have received far too many of those e-mails over the last 2.5 months. Pre job loss my response would have been “Julie! You are such an idiot! How did you let that happen???” Post Job Loss my response was “Why did you send me an e-mail? If I had money don’t you think it would be in there? I mean, really, Bank, what WOULD you like me to do about it?”
#1 – This one was tricky. I mean the #1 spot is pretty coveted. Income would be an obvious choice. Maybe even a repeat of shopping – I mean that was pretty sorely missed. But the #1 spot goes to…..
THE LOSS OF MY DIGNITY
Yeah, me and ole’ dignity are pretty excited to be reunited on January 4th. She’s missed me. Heck, I’ve missed her.
It’ll be tears and hugs all around.