I guess they probably would have appreciated it if I had put that stack of files on my desk back in the drawer before they did this...
This looks serious
I'm guessing when they put these boxes in my office they expected me to help pack...
But I don't need those boxes because the contents of my desk would fit in my purse... "oh, you wanted me to help pack other stuff, haha, yeah, not happening"
In light of my recent extension, I shot off a quick e-mail to my HR department, with what I viewed as a fairly reasonable question:
The severance number which was originally quoted to me, based on a termination date of August 31st, was prorated since at that time I would have been with {sic} less than 1 year. Since I have been extended, I will now be with {sic} a year on October 15th and therefore, my severance should easily calculate out to be equal to exactly one month’s pay. Could you please send me that new figure?
The response I received was as follows:
The severance amount will not be re-calculated. It is based on the official term date. The extension have no impact on the amount. You were just able to continue to earn a pay check for the extended time.
Whew boy. That was not especially nice, nor necessary if you ask me. If she was going to be rude, she should have at least gone full boar and said it how she surely really meant it:
“Listen ya little snot, you got 6 more weeks of pay before you had to go stand in line at the unemployment office. What more do you want? I mean, we’re just a Fortune 500 Company will billions in assets, what made you ever think we gave a crap about you anyway?”
For a woman who works for a company that is clearly not exceptionally stable in an economy that is anything but stable, you’d think she’d pay more heed to the Karmic gods…her time will come. And when it does, I bet she’ll find when the shoe is on the other foot it isn’t nearly as comfy.
By now, I suppose you are getting used to seeing this post once ever 2 weeks, since I posted it originally on Aug. 31st, then again on September 15th. These guys just can’t seem to let me go. Who can blame them, really. I’m a pretty cool chick, if I do say so myself. Ok, actually, it just takes much longer to execute an office move than any of the powers that be imagined. But I see no problem in me believing these extensions have far more to do with my being a cool chick.
This is without question; however, the last horrah. In exactly 2 weeks your very own ’Jobless Julie’ will, officially, finally, be jobless.
These extensions have been a godsend, that’s for sure. Funny, how when you have a regular, steady job, 3 paychecks are just well, 3 paychecks. But when you aren’t expecting them and can’t count on them – 3 paychecks is like winning the lottery. I paid my monthly bills in September and have set aside the money for October’s bills with the utmost glee. Who would have thought paying an electric bill could be so much fun! Well, let me tell you when you pay your utility bills without tapping into your savings account – its pretty much the best.thing.ever. Because when I diligently built, little by little, that savings account balance - I had visions of luxurious vacations dancing in my head – not the luxury of lights and running water.
Sound Familiar? Looks like the rumors were true. I’ll be stickin around here for another 2 weeks. You know what that means my friends - 1 more paycheck.
I’ll say this – that bump to my checking account now comes with a whole new level of appreciation.
So, as I said before…
Carry on, carry on…
Turns out I must be pretty important… or my company is just exceptionally disorganized. Probably the latter.
Either way, my employment has been extended until September 15th, with rumors that they may keep people on until October 1st. Upon telling a friend this, he said ‘did you tell them where to stick it?’ I replied, ‘no, I told them where to continue to send me a paycheck.’
Until this keg is completely kicked, I will continue to drink from it. And, you my lovely readers can continue to be amused by my daily antics.
Carry on, carry on.
Grin Camp
Once you park your car, head down the hill and you will see pretty much the most gorgeous place imaginable. And just because it wasn’t cool enough all on its own – there’s a tree house. Yes, a genuine tree house. From the time I was 5
The Mother of all Tree Houses
years old until I finally gave up around the age of 14, I BEGGED my Dad to build me a treehouse. In spite of many attempts which included batting my big brown eyes and saying “puuhhlease Daddy” – no treehouse. Apparently the limbs were too high.
I ventured to this new found oasis a couple of weeks ago at the urging of my friend J (if you’ve read my other posts, she comes up a lot – she gets me into all sorts of trouble) for a party called Grin Fest. At Grin Fest they take this oasis, then add in tons of people, really great live music, dancing and maybe an alcoholic beverage or two and basically they’ve created the greatest place on earth (take that Disney World).
They're not kidding
The problem with Grin Camp – its a hard place to leave. Consider yourself warned though - one of the first things you see when you arrive is a sign that says “Grin Camp – Its a Hard Place to Leave”, so you can’t argue that you weren’t sufficiently informed.
In fact, its such a hard place to leave that I decided to go back again this past weekend.
Just couldn’t get enough of that darn treehouse.
The thing about this past weekend, when camp was a wee bit calmer, what without 100+ people, a stage and a bazillion tents, I was able to really appreciate what a seriously cool place it is. I think the reason its such a hard place to leave is it gets you to thinking about what you’re doing with your life. It makes you feel like such a conformist because you realize how many hours of your life you’ve spent sitting at a desk when there is clearly more to be had. I’m always so envious of people and their nomadic lifestyles; floating back and forth between ski patrolling in the winter, guiding on the river in the summer and the freedom to go whereever, whenever they want.
At this crossroads in my life, if that’s a lifestyle I really want, now’s the time to do it. In fact, I may have to do it because the good ole’ fashioned 9-5 American gig is getting a little hard to come by. But faced with the potential that there will be no more sizable paychecks, no more 401K contributions, no more health insurance. It makes me wonder – could I really give it up?
Despite which direction I take, having a place to go to like Grin Camp is good for the soul – its good to question the decisions you make in your life and really analyze whether you’re going in the direction you want to go, or whether you’re going in the direction you’re supposed to go.
And… its a great party. Nothin’ wrong with a few good times.
Just when I thought I was running out of good ideas for blog posts, I 
got this e-mail like it was a gift from Mother Blog herself.
“As we are expected to file a new rate case this fall, we need to update our [sic] time studies in order to render a current allocation of field and region office expenses. We believe it is imperative that we get the first study completed before the August 31 transition date; before the employees transition to Pittsburgh or beyond. ”
There are so many funny things with this e-mail, that I couldn’t begin to make fun of all of them. However, I will at least take a jab at this one:
‘…transition to Pittsburgh or Beyond…’ - What planet are they planning on transfering people to next?
As promised, the e-mail contains an equally entertaining attachment:
Time Study Instructions:
The time sheet should be completed daily for the subject period. Please record your time in the appropriate column (s) to the nearest one-half hour. A minimum of eight hours should be charged for each work day.
The “Corporate” column (for adinistrative/Supervisory personnel) should be used to record time spent on activities that would be impractical to charge to any company. An example of this type of time would be for time spent in a general office meeting that does not concern a specific subject or task. Non-chargeable time would include holidays, vacation, sick time or travel specific to the office transition. “Pipeline” activities for operating personnel are defined as work performed downstream of separator. For non-metered wells, we will use any work performed after the first 50 feet of flow line.
There are many, many problems with my compliance with this task.
#1 – I have no idea what my employee category is
#2 – “Downstream of seperator” – yeah, no clue
#3 – Non-metered wells – nope, not a clue, again
The attached spreadsheet contains columns for you to input your hours depending on what task you are completing. Since I (a) don’t know what any of the tasks are and (b) definitely don’t actually do any of them. I have decided the best way to meet this requirement would be to add new categories:
Blogging: 1.5 hours
Reading other people’s blogs: 1 hour
Checking my Yahoo E-mail Account: 2.5 hours
Reading the news and other general internet perusing: 2 hours
Continually trying to beat the system and see if maybe on the 1,457th attempt this computer will let me into Facebook: 1 hour
I’ve determined it would be best for all involved for me not to turn in this little assignment until September 1st.
